Last night about eight o’clock I was sitting at the kitchen table reading a magazine.
Josh ran up to me and said “Mom! Let’s make a smoothie!”
“No,” I said.
“Why not?” pleaded Josh.
“Because it is night time,” I said.
“So what?” said Josh.
“And we don’t make smoothies at night,” I said.
And then I listened to myself.
“We don’t make smoothies at night.”
Says who? The smoothie police? Strunk and White’s Elements of Smoothie Style? The National Association of Rigid Parents With No Imagination?
Because of my deeply comfortable habit, relaxing after dinner and getting the kids off to bed with a glass of water, I was arguing with my 5-year old about why he shouldn’t learn how to make a highly nutritious drink with fresh fruits and soy milk.
How often do our well-worn habits get in the way of positive change?
“I could never get an assistant to screen my email, I have always done it myself.”
“I could never do a presentation at Ignite, I am not a public speaker.”
“We couldn’t create a great conference, our core business is software.”
Of course you could. You are just being close-minded because you are too comfortable.
We made the smoothie.
[…] to Naomi over at IttyBiz, I found this other great post from Pamela at Escape from cubicle nation where Pamela shares a conversation with her son. Because I SAID […]
[…] Castillo’s Self Coaching 101 and Clarissa Pinkola-Estes Women Who Run with the Wolves) : Go ahead, make my smoothie (whose rules are you following […]
Great post, Pam. This has been a major theme of my recent speaking programs. I call them “rules that don’t exist.” I’ve found that the simple fact of being aware of these so-called “rules” is very powerful. There are a TON of them.
Act your age.
You can’t have dessert first.
No smoothies at night.
I have a long list started, many from audience members. I’ve started a series on my blog about this, and have enjoyed exploring them in words and art: http://kimandjason.com/blog/category/rules-that-dont-exist
Kudos to you for making the smoothie!
Exactly! Doing WHAT we wanna WHEN we wanna is why I bothered to (almost) grow up in the first place! And while it’s just called immaturity for me, your getting to teach your bright kid something useful, smart, independent and healthy — that he can use every day for the rest of his life! — also teaches him that the main rules to pay attention to are those that* serve* if if they’re “not like everybody else does it.” And THAT’s what being a grown-up can be: making it up to work best for YOU.
Brava, m’dear. Nice reminder, lovely post, (and the blog looks great, too!)
As a mom I SO get this, Pam! I catch myself saying ‘no’ because quite honestly it feels like work to get out of my groove with a ‘yes.’
What would the biz world be like without children to poke and prod us out of submission? 🙂
Thanks for sharing a moment so common to us parents but perhaps telling about why we get stuck in our biz.
An excellent example to go for what you want. If you want something reach out and grab it, but don’t dream about it.
[…] Last night about eight o’clock I was sitting at the kitchen table reading a magazine.Josh ran up to me and said “Mom! Let’s make a smoothie!”“No,” I said.“Why not?” pleaded Josh.“Because it is night time,” I said.“So what?” said Josh.“And we don’t make smoothies at night,” I said.And then I listened to myself.“We don’t make […] Original post […]
John Denver’s lyrics about children in his classic “Rhymes and Reasons” come to mind — “In their innocence and trusting they will teach us to be free.” My kids are now grown, but I’m reminded of this all the time in my grandkids.
Glad you made the smoothie!
I make smoothies nearly every night, and often for breakfast. For me, there’s no time like smoothie time 🙂 — Especially at night. I usually freeze the leftovers into Popsicles for the kids.
This article reminds me of a poster we have in the office: “Traditions: Just because you’ve always done it that way, doesn’t mean it isn’t stupid.”
[…] Go ahead, make my smoothie (I think this is ALSO via Naomi, but her twitter this time) […]
Awesome lesson, Pam! This will become my classic attitude adjuster: I’ll just think of “We don’t make smoothies at night” and snap out of it. Hopefully your embarrassment will transform to delight when we all get the t-shirts – “We Even Make Smoothies At Night”.
Thanks so much for your bravery to share yet another game-changing viewpoint with us!
great blog, pam. i’m glad you made the smoothie!!! and thanks for the reminder to be open minded and flexible – we don’t want to become constrained by ourselves 🙂
I dont have kids yet either, but i find myself telling my husband nonsense about what cant be done, so i will most definitely remember this the next time he suggests something i may have thought to be preposterous, lol.
My daughter is grown with kids of her own, but I love my memories of the times she and I spent together at our kitchen table late at night. We would toast english muffins, slather them with peanut butter, and make big glasses of Ovaltine. YUM! The time of day wasn’t important… those late night gatherings were about bonding as mom and daughter…. being good friends… talking about everything under the sun. I highly recommend it! 🙂
Flexibility of response and managing discomfort are incredibly important lesson for our kids to learn. Just like “the tree of liberty must be refreshed with the blood of patriots and tyrants from time to time,” I think it’s important that we have a regularly scheduled disruption of our “programming.” If my kids learn how to be comfortable with this, then I know they will be ok.
LMAO “The National Association of Rigid Parents With No Imagination?”
Good you made the smoothie.
Cheers!
Soy milk is not a good option of guys.. let him have almond milk instead..
Missing the point, for the win! 😉
Pam – I handed in my notice for the National Association of Rigid Parents With No Imagination THIS WEEK !! thank you 😉
Thank god! I am the former President, but soon to be rebellious ex-member. 😉
HA. Two cheers for smoothie-making-our-way out of our comfort zones!
I am still embarrassed at my “we don’t make smoothies at night” comment. Let’s hope he has a short memory and I haven’t crushed his creativity for good.:)
[…] Go ahead, make my smoothie: Pamela Slim proves the point we all need to make positive change in our life by making smoothies now and again […]
Love this. Sort of a shame I’m getting to all this transformation after my kids are grown. 🙂 Better late then never.
You can work on breaking grandkid rules then. 😉
Hey Pam!
This was my introductory read to your blog. I don’t have kids yet, so I can’t vouch for the “no smoothies before bedtime” rule, but there’s a lot to be said for investigating why we do things.
Somewhere along the way we’re told to be mindless robots. That it’s not only okay to be status quo, but that it’s how we’ll get along in life. I hope the generation to come is more bold & brash about life than mine and generations previous were.
Thanks for the visit, welcome to the blog Chase!
Indeed, we do make ourselves mindless robots. Break the pattern!
Thanks Pam. Breaking the pattern is the only way to live.
😀 For some strange reason, I always tend to bake cakes at 11pm (when I bakes cakes, that is). I love that about me! Also, having cereal for dinner and rice & lentils for breakfast at times. It’s true, habits are stronger than desires. If the desire is strong enough, the work is in changing the habit. Nicely done Pam!
Can you come make me rice and lentils for breakfast? That sounds great!