The following is a new post on Martha Beck’s blog … which has finally moved to a permanent home on her new website. Feel free to add the feed to your reader when you visit!
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When I was younger, I went crazy for Salsa. I don’t mean the kind involving chopped tomatoes and chili peppers, I mean the sexy, sweaty Latin dance variety.
Nothing, nothing, made me feel better than being whipped around the dance floor to the intoxicating rhythms of salsa music. While dancing, I felt like a combination of a Hollywood temptress, prom queen and Jennifer Beales in the finale of Flashdance.
My passion for salsa dancing was a little problematic since as an Anglo wannabe Latina, I didn’t have too many friends who shared my enthusiasm and were willing to go out dancing with me. Showing up as a single blond was not always recommended, as it was akin to putting a "cheap floozy looking for quick fling" sign on my chest. But my love for dancing overrode any fear of embarrassment.
Salsa dancing is one example of things in my life that make my essential self scream YES.
When I do it, I lose track of time, feel absolutely present in my body and have an involuntary silly grin plastered on my face.
Finding the things that delight and enthrall you is a critical step towards finding a life that not only fits you but thrills you. It helps you make complex decisions like whom to marry, where to go to college and whether or not to quit your job to start a business. It also works for simple things like which restaurant to go for dinner on Saturday night or which color to paint your toenails.
In my last post, I led you through an exercise about identifying your inner NO from Martha’s book Finding Your Own North Star that was sure to leave you drained and unenergized. I made you imagine a scenario where you were being judged by people you didn’t respect on things that you hated to do. I swear, I was not trying to chase you into the arms of a therapist, I just really wanted you to experience what it felt like when your essential self screamed NO.
Today, thank god, we get to swing in the opposite direction, into the people, places and things that make your essential self shout YES from the rooftops. Read the rest on Martha’s blog!
My dreams were put aside for much grander things, so my father implied. He wanted me to get “the bug” – the burning desire to go after something, so long as it met his approval.
I eventually stopped having dreams and my wick smoldered long ago. Yet, I always sensed something was wrong. I kept my eyes out for kindling, kept reading wise quotes, and learned to listen to that strange sound – the beating of my own heart.
Yes! My heart! The pilot light was still lit. The kindling! It would ignite. Suddenly, I found myself uttering phrases that began with “I’ve always wanted to…”
I listened to me
and now I am free.
It was in my heart
right from the start.
It began as desire
then raged as a fire.
Strange it would seem
yet ‘t was my dream.
I thought it was lost;
considered not the cost.
But now it was found
as firm as the ground.
Now I am free
free to be me!
Bless your heart for sharing ALL the things you have shared in this blog, Pamela! Just wonderful! To escape the cubicle nation is sheer ecstasy. Thanks for spraying a healthy dose of non-stick.