In my latest ezine issue, I tackle the topic of developing a healthy emotional relationship with money. Napoleon Hill in his famous book Think and Grow Rich categorized six groups of fear faced by human beings: fear of poverty, fear of criticism, fear of ill health, fear of loss of love, fear of old age and fear of death. It is not surprising that fear of poverty tops this heavy list, as he explains:
"This fear paralyzes the faculty of reason, destroys the faculty of imagination, kills off self-reliance, undermines enthusiasm, discourages initiative, leads to uncertainty of purpose, encourages procrastination and makes self-control an impossibility."
Yikes, with a list like that in your life, I can see why you may be afraid to start a business!
Never a traditionalist, I offer up some ways to develop a healthy emotional relationship with money that include things like placing a three-legged frog inside your house, creating a $186 money temple and worshiping the goddess of wealth and beauty more often.
I am curious, for those of you who feel positive emotions when you think about money, what have you done to foster this healthy relationship?
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I agree, Pam, that money is not the root of all evil–I wasn’t saying that. It’s the love of money that causes all kinds of problems–big difference. It’s a difference that determines whether money is a servant or a master, or whether money gives freedom or enslaves.
But I also agree that gratitude, service, and creativity are important. So perhaps we’re not so far apart on this (I hope).
Thanks for your reply!
I’m still working on this, but so far I’ve been getting good results.
First, the advice about taking care of yourself before paying your creditors: yes, it’s been said many times to “pay yourself first”.
I find it’s helping to treat savings as the first “bill” that must be paid out of every paycheck. Doing it automatically really helps! ING Direct and some other banks are able to set this up easily.
For the spiritual aspect, a general attitude that we’re really only borrowing everything we “own” during our lifetime can actually help (until you can take it with you, can you say you own it?). For those who choose not to pray to Hindu goddesses, keeping a principle of stewardship over these gifts is quite effective and is actually very congruent with Judeo-Christian spirituality. Catholics, for instance, might check out Phil Lenahan’s 7 Steps to Financial Freedom for a very spiritual approach to achieving financial independence while doing good in the world, and there are Protestant equivalents to this.
The key points for me personally have been setting up a plan. It sounds intimidating but once you’ve worked through some kind of planning, you gain a sense of control and the fear dissolves. Plan savings, plan charitable giving, plan the most effective route out of debt, etc. You are the caretaker of these temporal gifts; the money doen’t own you!
Money represents freedom. Money isn’t about buying stuff. It’s about having the freedom to choose anything but settling for nothing – nothing except good friends, family and conversation
check out http://www.startupcamp.com. its in very early beta but you get the concept… great article btw.
Hi Pam,All,
It is a very interesting topic. I can share some thought being a Hindi friend.
Some of the tricks that we follow
1)Pray Goddess Lakshmi to keep the money rotating to generate more money. We pray in every occasion to Goddess Lakshmi.
2) Also we follow principles like if the house/your work place/ your work place materials (everything that is used in work and generate money) are not clean; Goddess Lakshmi’s bad sister (with plenty of bad luck) will swipe away the good fortune.
Some other general principles, I follow
3)See people in poverty in many parts of world, you will feel God has been kind with you and you should work hard to make use of this fortune and do something in return. This will erase the poverty fear for ever.
4) Don’t sell off old assets because you need money, find out some other mechanism. Those old assets are your good friends in need.
-Santosh
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Hi Santosh!
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and culture with us! That is very helpful. Cleanliness seems to be a common theme in many cultures. Sharing and giving back is such an important part of a healthy relationship with money as well. I had never heard of not selling off old things – that is a great point!
In my husband’s Navajo culture, many people on the reservation live in very difficult economic conditions. “Pawn shops” have sprung up everywhere, and old grandmas and grandpas often pawn their cherished jewelry, weavings and sacred medicine baskets just to get money for food. I always get so depressed when I see those items in a pawn shop, and it makes me want to buy them all up and return them back to their rightful owners. We are working as hard as we can to do our small part to develop skills and small businesses among his relatives so they don’t have to resort to those spirit and wealth-depleting activities.
Many blessings and good fortune to you!
All the best,
-Pam
Hey Pam. THanks for the wishes on the flood. Ihave a couple of tricks with money.
One: I rid all pauperish activites from my life. So if I have a pair of jeans or socks that are getting ratty I promptly replace them.
Two: Take care of myself first, then the creditors. Self care comes first. In times when I’ve carried debt, I paid responsibly, but not slavingly. My needs come first. If I don’t feel prosperous, my emotions carry over to business and I fail.
Three: Never take the cheapest offer. I always get three estimates, and if the vendors are close to a dead heat in capability, I will select the middle vendor. This makes me feel like I invested in quality without getting ripped off.
Hope this is helpful to someone.
GL
Myself, I’d rather not replace “fear of poverty” with “love of money”, which, after all, is the root of all kinds of evil. There are motivations other than love of money for starting a successful business, such as doing good and being happy! One may respect money and use it well without bowing down in front of it.
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Hi Mark!
I appreciate your comments and perspective.
For me personally, I don’t see money as the root of all evil, I see it as our relationship with money that gets us into trouble. A wise mentor once told me that there is nothing wrong with making lots of money since that won’t make us naturally greedy – once we get it, we can give it all away!
The rituals I mentioned are not meant to glorify greed or hoarding of cash, rather to give thanks to the wealth and abundance in our lives. Part of getting is giving (as I explained in the paragraph about “offering”). What goes around comes around, so if we live in a state of gratitude, service and creativity, that is what we will attract in our lives. Money has an energy all its own that should be respected.
I appreciate you weighing in on this very important topic, as there as many approaches to building a healthy relationship with money as there are people on the planet. What is important is what works for you.
All the best,
-Pam
Many years back, in my ‘yoof’, I read some interesting books by authors now forgotten.
One lesson I learned was to have absolute faith that I will always have money and will always have the ability to replenish the near empty coffers.
This faith to do just that, has never yet let me down. I have been low on funds during my life. In fact I got down to my last £1.63 but just new I was not broke’ cos I still had £1.63 to spend and that was enough to buy me quite a few small items if and when the need arose.
I am my own money production plant and will generate money always. I will.
How do you worship this Goddess?
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Hi Simone!
I am hoping some of my Hindi friends will help out with examples from their own lives since I can only speak from what I read …
“On the full moon night following Dusshera or Durga Puja, Hindus worship Lakshmi ceremonially at home, pray for her blessings, and invite neighbors to attend the puja. It is believed that on this full moon night the goddess herself visits the homes and replenishes the inhabitants with wealth. A special worship is also offered to Lakshmi on the auspicious Diwali night.”
For more info, I saw a link to a book from About.com which is Hindu Goddesses, Visions of the Divine Feminine in the Hindu Religious Tradition:
http://about.pricegrabber.com/search_getprod.php/isbn=0520063392/search=Hindu%2520goddesses/
And there is a fun link to “virtually” worship her:
http://hinduism.about.com/gi/dynamic/offsite.htm?site=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.diwaliutsav.com%2Fdiwali-puja.html
Take care,
-Pam